Okay, so far I have had jello and water today. The jello is 10 cals and sugar free, but I didnt eat all of it. I'm gunna say I had about 8 calories so far today.  I cant make it to the gym so im going to exercise like crazy today. Probably go for a walk and then do a bunch of exercises at home. Then tomorrow I'm working so no food from 10-3 and then when I get home i'll probably have a 100 calories snack or maybe special k cerial and then burn them all off at them gym. I usually stay at the gym for at LEAST 2 hours. So far so good.  

I'm doing alright. I want to be perfect. Perfect body, perfect hair, perfect make-up, everything. So far today i've eaten jello, a total of 10 calories. I'm going to be so thin.  

hey g uys! i'm not sure who reads this or if anyone reads it for that matter but hey! lol. okay, so i started a new job a few weeks ago and it's located in this little strip mall type thing. what are the odds that RIGHT NEXT DOOR to where i work is a gym?! i was so happy when i found that out. it's a gym just for women, and it is called Lady of America or some shit. Anyway, how fucking cool is that? i work a lot so i'm thinking that i can always go before work and then go whenever else i want to go. I'll be spending my money so that is motivation right there...i dont want to waste it. I'm going tomorrow before work to ask about a membership and how much is costs. I dont really care about the cost...i just want a membership. I am sooo happy!! this girl is my best thinspo:

not  doing so well. been eating more than i should. i've been exercising so i havent gained weight but if i keep eating im not going to feel anybetter. WHAT DOESNT KILL US MAKES US HOTTER.

I'm so inconsistant. This really cute guy came into Phreds today, and he stayed by me for a long time. We just talked, you know, for a while. He thought I was hot....it made me feel good. He said that he would come in and see me again. I hope that he does. God knows he took my mind off of everything else today. He said that he comes in a lot...and that he lives right by Phreds. Well, I live right by Phreds, so he MUST live near me. He wasn't the creepy kind of guy that would usually hit on me either. He was so...different. So nice...and we just hit it off the moment we met. He seems to be a lot like me, you know, living life crazy and loving every second of it.  I hope he comes in tomorrow. I would be so happy. I actually dressed differently than I usually do today, too. I usually wear just jeans and a hoodie but today I wore this really cute outfit. I noticed people noticing me. I loved it. Not that i'm attention starved...trust me, i am not...but the attention was good. I'm so inconsistant though. I was able to take my mind off of EVERYTHING...and honestly, it sounds really bad...but I'm moving on very easily. Very quickly, and very easily. & maybe I should feel bad...but I dont. I feel great. =)

I FINALLY BOUGHT HOODIA!!! =D =D!!!

Feeling a lot better today. I havent eaten anything and I still have plenty of energy from my coffee. Excellent. I think I might go to the mall today...I just got paid =). Anyway, im in a very good mood because I found out last night that my dad is going to be coming to visit me on the 28th of this month and he bought us two tickets to see Wicked!! My favorite show of all times that i've never ACTUALLY seen. I've seen the whole thing online from when I downloaded it on limewire...but I am so stoked!

I just want to cry. I feel so horrible. I ate a lot today and I was supposed to be fasting. I managed to throw a lot of it up...and I excercised today but i just feel so awfull. I need to purge. Everytime I eat even if it is the smallest amount i just feel sick and i NEED to purge. So i'm going to go do that in a minute. Tomorrow will be better. I just know it. Tomorrow im walking to and from work....and not eating the entire time i'm there. I wont have time. I'm working the lottery tomorrow. That's very comforting. I'm going to go throw up now =].